Monday, October 8, 2012

CELEBRITY CRUSH


I was watching X Factor UK videos on Youtube and then I can't help notice the head judge, Damn he's so hot! I just found myself a new celebrity crush. Whew!


I love Maroon 5 and The Voice because of him. He's so hot and sexy that every time I hear him on the radio it turns me on.


OMG! For me Thor is the hottest among The Avengers. I'll be on my knees for him.


Magic Mike is in the house! His moves are so hot and sexy you'll just be turned on even if he does not take off his clothes.


McDreamy, my ultimate crush. I was captivated the very first time I saw him on Grey's Anatomy.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

MY BUCKET LIST

I saw #50ThingsIWantToDoBeforeIDie trending on Twitter right now and I realized that 50 tweets for this is too much so I decided to just make a blog post for this one.
  1. Travel around the world
  2. Learn how to drive
  3. Learn how to swim
  4. Get an MBA
  5. Finish a marathon
  6. Settle down
  7. Be independent
  8. Get my own place
  9. Payoff all my debts
  10. Make my mom proud of me
  11. Fall in love
  12. watch an Adele concert live
  13. Be the boss
  14. Kiss under the rain
  15. Celebrate New Year's Eve at Times Square, NYC
  16. Meet my father and all my brothers and sisters in person
  17. Climb a mountain
  18. Bring my mom here in the US
  19. Watch a broadway show in NYC
  20. Drive my own car
  21. Go to Disneyland
  22. Zipline
  23. Go to a male strip club
  24. Get married
  25. Start my own business
  26. Learn how to play the piano
  27. Become a $$$ multi-millionaire
  28. Have less than 10% body fat
  29. Collect Apple gadgets
  30. Get a DSLR camera
  31. Go to a white party
  32. Learn how to speak other languages
  33. Raise a son and a daughter
  34. Go skinny dipping
  35. Bonfire at the beach with friends
  36. Learn new recipes
  37. Be seen on TV
  38. Kiss a girl
  39. Win first place on a contest
  40. Visit all 50 US states
  41. Attend a mass in Vatican
  42. Learn how to ride a motorcycle
  43. Sit under a cherry blossom tree
  44. Seduce a straight guy
  45. Workout to get six-pack abs
  46. Get a lasik surgery for my eyes
  47. Be a model
  48. Pay it forward
  49. Sky diving
  50. Ride a hot air balloon

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

MOVING FORWARD

I know we've only known each other for a few months, that we can never be more than friends, and that you're nearly a thousand miles away from me right now, but I keep thinking of you. I don't know what's so different about you that you affect my life this much. For the short period of time that we've known each other, you have touched my life in a way that nobody else does.

You are moving forward with your own life and here I am stuck in the moment where you left me hoping that one day you'll come back and pick me up from where you have left me or at least someone else will pick me up on where you've left me. The only problem is I've been looking at the wrong places. I realized that you're someone that is not that easy to replace.

As I look around for a new friend I got lost and realized that I am looking on the wrong way. It just started to struck me now after what happened to me earlier today. And I'm pretty sure you guys don't want to know about that. It felt like I picked a stone to hit my head hard to wake myself up and realize these things.

Since you left, I kept on thinking a lot of 'what ifs' and 'buts'. What if I knew you before him? What if we've spent more time together when you were here? What if you liked me more than him? What if you haven't met him? I know these questions will just stay on my mind unanswered.

You found a new friend on your new home. I was able to get a chance to get to know your new friend through social networking sites and as well as with occasional chats and I have to say that he's really a nice guy. I am happy for you but deep inside I feel sad for myself.

I have to move forward.
I need to move forward.
I will move forward.
I am moving forward.

Monday, September 10, 2012

BITTERSWEET BIRTHDAY

Same date. New timezone. It feels like I've been celebrating my birthday for more than a day. Greetings from Facebook and Twitter, text messages from friends, and personal greetings from family members. Birthdays are like New Year's Day to me. I become an age older, start my journey as a 23-year old man.

My birthday celebration started yesterday when I went out with my 'friends with benefits'. He's late. That's a first. I hate late. I am very punctual with time. I don't like being late and waiting for someone who's late. But instead of hating this guy, I felt worried. I know he had a very tiring day the previous day fixing his boat and last thing I know was he's still out at the bar. I felt worried that something bad had happened but I kinda figured that he might not wake up in time and overslept. I am right. After an hour and a half of waiting, I finally received a message from him: "Shit I'm Sorry", Whew! I knew it. He overslept.

And so I went to our meeting place - the post office. It's a cold morning and I felt it the moment I opened our door and stepped out of the house. The post office is not that far so I started walking. Its good that it only took me a few minutes to arrive at the post office and I only had to wait for him for a few minutes at the post office.

We went straight to his home. We talked a bit and snuggled at his home. I still have no idea at that time on where is he taking me for my birthday. It drives me crazy but I like good surprises. It excites me a lot that's why I really like it.

After about a couple of hours, he took a shower, left his home, and went to our destination - the zoo. Great choice. He's really knows me well. If you didn't knew, that was only the second time for me to go to the zoo my entire life.

We started our day at the zoo by eating some corn dogs and fries. This is a bit embarrassing and I don't think I mentioned this to him but that was my first time to eat corn dogs. I eat regular hotdogs but not corn dogs (well not until that day). We also ate a coconut cream pie which is really good. I like cakes. I prefer cakes than ice creams.

We walked for several hours at the zoo. I saw tigers, giraffes, bears, rhinocerus, and a lot of other animals. It was a long walk, good thing I enjoy walking now more than before. I used to be the boy who gets exhausted easily even on short works. It was the first time for me to see those animals for real so it was really fun.

The best part of my zoo experience - The Skyfari. I was really freaking out and terribly scared at first, but I'm excited at the same time because it's another first for me. When I was up there with him he made me feel relax having him beside me (he really knows how to make me feel relaxed) and I started to enjoy the whole experience. I really loved it!

After having fun at the zoo, we grabbed some ice cream. He said he wants to see me eat an ice cream from the cone. He wants to see me lick an ice cream from the cone. Seriously? LOL! Well he said he's craving for an ice cream. I think that makes more sense and sounds more valid.

Then we went to this bridge that connects two different states and then we went back home because he's starting to feel tired. When we reached his home, we went to his bed and cuddled more. I fell asleep for a few minutes and when I woke him up when he woke up and had sex. It felt so great.

After that he became hungry so we went out to eat at a Mongolian grill. It was a nice dinner. I had two plates of yumminess. It was my first and definitely will not be the last time that I will eat on that restaurant. The food was really good.

Then we went back to his home and tried to help him packing his stuff. While he's packing his stuff, he opened up a lot of interesting things about him and showed me some interesting stuff he has. Then we started to snuggle again and had sex again, this time it was a lot of work because we're both tired already, but it still went out great.

Its almost midnight and its time for me to go home. So after we had sex, I hugged him tight for a few minutes. He's already tired and he still needs to bring me home and go back to his place but I insisted for that few minutes. Just a few more minutes, at that time I wish I can stay longer. I was thinking about sleepover at his apartment but I kinda felt that its a little too much for him. He already spent his entire day with me and that's more than enough for me. So after a few minutes I took a quick shower and had him bring me back home.

He'll be leaving on Wednesday. When will I see him again? I don't know. One thing I know, I will always remember him as a good friend and will keep in touch with him. I know and I believe that this will not be the last time that I will see him.

Earlier today, I took the written exam at DMV for a learner's permit and finally after my third attempt I passed the exam already. Now I can start to learn how to drive. I am so eager right now to learn how to drive so that I can go to places I haven't been before. It opened up a new hope for me. A hope that one day I will be able to drive my own car as I start to take control of my own life. That's a different story. Let's just all wait and see what will happen next.

Thank you buddy.
Friends for keeps.
xoxo

Saturday, September 8, 2012

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

I met him on Grindr - not the best place to meet guys - got his number and we started messaging. After a few days we decided to meet up. I was so scared yet excited to meet him in person. He has a roommate so he waited for his roommate to go out and eat dinner before he picked me up at the post office and took me to his apartment. His 'one bedroom' apartment is on the 3rd floor. He has a roommate and his apartment has only one bedroom so I figured out that his roommate is not just a 'roommate'. 

We had sex for the first time. No penetration yet, just oral sex. It was quick but its awesome. After we had sex we cuddled a bit and started to have a conversation. I really don't know what to say to him at that time. I really enjoyed the sex, but the conversation was unexpected. It was a short but really sweet conversation. And then he need to bring me home because his roommate will arrive anytime soon so he brought me back home.

We still continue chatting and messaging after that. I started asking him questions about his roommate. At first he told me that roommate is a 'friend' of his (B*llsh*t! I don't buy that. LOL!). They've know each other for almost a year now. His roommate is an Asian college student and he was there for summer vacation from school. I found out that his roommate will be leaving the week after we first met because his classes will start soon. I was ecstatic at that time knowing that his roommate will be leaving soon. It gave me hope that I may be able to see him again.

But there's still one more thing that bothers me - are they just really 'friends'? One time we chatted, I confronted him and told him I can feel that they're more than friends and he confirmed to me that he like his roommate more than a friend. I don't know why I felt sad and somehow started to lose my home on meeting him again. It's was just sex but why did it made me feel that way towards him?

I message him every time I have a free time. Finally my phone started to have sense and become a little useful. I only have a handful of contacts on my phone. My phone is being used more for data than messaging nor calling. He replies to my messages most of the time if he's not that busy too. Waiting for his reply excites me. Finally I've met someone who apparently knows how to hit the reply button.

As I get to know him more, I found out that he's a military guy and he will also be leaving soon because he'll be assigned on a different base. I felt really sad to hear that. I almost lose hope of seeing him again. But then again, he won't be leaving 'til after my birthday. We still have more than 5 weeks left. There's still hope.

I started reflecting with myself. Do I like him? Yes, I like him a lot. Why? I don't know. I just do. What now? I guess we'll be better off as friends. When I first met him I felt that I can be myself when I'm with him. And so our seed of friendship started to grow a sprout.

When his roommate left, we started to hangout more often and meet at least once or twice a week. I got a chance to know him better. He's a very sweet guy. He has a good sense of humor. He's a bit of a bully and likes teasing me a lot. He's caring and understanding. He is a good listener. His house not perfectly clean but most of his stuff are in order. Did I mention how great he is in bed? LOL!

I opened up to him, told him some of my dark past and deepest secrets. He also did the same to me and started to open up. I started to like him more as I get to know him more. I just let myself like him. I can feel that he's starting to like me too, but I know and I can feel that he doesn't like me the same way he likes his roommate. I don't want to ruin their relationship but he's definitely for keeps so I said to myself that we can definitely be good friends.

Right now I consider him as one of my best friends. He'll be leaving soon but this is definitely not a goodbye. I still hope that our paths will cross each other again. I'm going out with him tomorrow on a 'friendly' date. He'll be bringing me somewhere I don't know yet for my birthday. I'm excited. Its the first time (and I hope not the last time) that I'll be going out with him. 

People may come and go but just because they left doesn't mean that they'll be gone forever.

Thank you for everything my friend. xoxo

Thursday, May 24, 2012

THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER

After almost half a year of searching and waiting, finally my 'bum' days are over. I'll start on my new job after Memorial Day. I've been waiting for this time to come.

What to expect? I don't know. I have no idea at all. This is the first time that I'll be working full-time at a company in this foreign country. One thing I am sure of though - the pay is really good.

Am I excited? Of course I am! This is my chance to meet new people and possibly gain some new friends. Isn't it exciting?

I need to work on my sleeping habits though. I need to sleep early so that I'll get enough sleep. But the problem is I'm already used to staying up and waking up late.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

TWENTY-ONE

I love Adele's music. Her voice is really amazing in a way that when you listen to her songs, you can feel her. I can relate to her songs. Most of us can.

Rolling In The Deep
"The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all."
We didn't even last a year but at that time I felt that we've been together longer. We are at our best before it become worst. Everything seems fine until the day he told me that he's seeing someone else on a Christmas eve. That moment left a scar on me and until now I always remember how I felt at that time. He was my first love, maybe that's why it hurts so much at that time.

Rumor Has It
"All these words whispered in my ear tells a story that I can't bear to hear."
As I start to move on with my life alone I've found out that they didn't stayed together that long. I hate it because he's the reason why he left me and then after a few weeks he just left him too. Why did he put everything we had into waste for nothing? 

Turning Tables
"Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior standing on my own two feet."
I loved him too much at that time that when he broke up with me I thought for once that I've lost everything. I was not able to left some love for myself. But he's already gone. I have to move on. It took me a while before I was able to totally move on. I started loving myself again. It was not easy but I was able to do it on my own.

Don't You Remember
"I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness, and a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head"
After we broke up, I kept on thinking on what went wrong. What's wrong with me? Have I done something wrong? Is it my fault? I always remember the good times we've had together. For a while I hoped that he'll come back for me. But he didn't. We didn't have a closure. We broke up online. Because we didn't have a proper closure. But then I've thought about it and asked myself if does it really exist - proper closure?

Set Fire To The Rain
"Even now when it's already over I can't help myself looking for you."
I missed him so much. Even now I still miss him. We had a lot of good moments together even we've only been together for a short period of time. He knew almost everything about me. I thought I knew him well too but I've found out that there's still a lot of things that I didn't knew about him. 

He Won't Go
"I won't forgive me if I give up trying."
I always remember our first kiss that was the time that I felt that I am falling in love with him. They said that we'll only last for a week or two. But we lasted way longer than that. It wasn't the first time that he had another guy. The first time it happened, I stayed. I fought for him. I didn't gave up until the time he left the other guy. But then after a few months it happened again.

Take It All
"I thought you loved me more than this."
I have no regrets loving him. I gave him all the love that I can give. I tried my best. I stayed as long as I can. But he gave up. And that's when it ended. Why did you gave up just like that? But that's the way it is. I have to walk away and move on.

I'll Be Waiting
"Hold me closer one more time. Say that you love me in your last goodbye."
One last kiss, one last touch, before we say goodbye. We didn't had this closure. We weren't in good terms when we broke up. I didn't want him out of my life. But he left and I have no control with that. It's time for him to go. I told him that I'll be waiting. It took me three years before I realized that I am waiting for nothing. That he's already gone and he'll never come back again.

One and Only
"Come on and give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile until the end starts."
I hoped for a  second chance. A chance to try and make things different. I always thought that we will be able to make it work if he gave me that chance.

Lovesong
"However far away, I will always love you."
He'll always be a part of me. Even though I'm miles away from him, he'll always be my first love. I'll always cherish the good memories we've had together.

Someone Like You
 "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
I said to myself that I'll be fine without you. that I'll be strong enough to be able to stand again after this fall. I hope that someday I'll find someone like you that will love me the way I deserve to be loved and won't give up on me.