BITTERSWEET BIRTHDAY

Same date. New timezone. It feels like I've been celebrating my birthday for more than a day. Greetings from Facebook and Twitter, text messages from friends, and personal greetings from family members. Birthdays are like New Year's Day to me. I become an age older, start my journey as a 23-year old man.

My birthday celebration started yesterday when I went out with my 'friends with benefits'. He's late. That's a first. I hate late. I am very punctual with time. I don't like being late and waiting for someone who's late. But instead of hating this guy, I felt worried. I know he had a very tiring day the previous day fixing his boat and last thing I know was he's still out at the bar. I felt worried that something bad had happened but I kinda figured that he might not wake up in time and overslept. I am right. After an hour and a half of waiting, I finally received a message from him: "Shit I'm Sorry", Whew! I knew it. He overslept.

And so I went to our meeting place - the post office. It's a cold morning and I felt it the moment I opened our door and stepped out of the house. The post office is not that far so I started walking. Its good that it only took me a few minutes to arrive at the post office and I only had to wait for him for a few minutes at the post office.

We went straight to his home. We talked a bit and snuggled at his home. I still have no idea at that time on where is he taking me for my birthday. It drives me crazy but I like good surprises. It excites me a lot that's why I really like it.

After about a couple of hours, he took a shower, left his home, and went to our destination - the zoo. Great choice. He's really knows me well. If you didn't knew, that was only the second time for me to go to the zoo my entire life.

We started our day at the zoo by eating some corn dogs and fries. This is a bit embarrassing and I don't think I mentioned this to him but that was my first time to eat corn dogs. I eat regular hotdogs but not corn dogs (well not until that day). We also ate a coconut cream pie which is really good. I like cakes. I prefer cakes than ice creams.

We walked for several hours at the zoo. I saw tigers, giraffes, bears, rhinocerus, and a lot of other animals. It was a long walk, good thing I enjoy walking now more than before. I used to be the boy who gets exhausted easily even on short works. It was the first time for me to see those animals for real so it was really fun.

The best part of my zoo experience - The Skyfari. I was really freaking out and terribly scared at first, but I'm excited at the same time because it's another first for me. When I was up there with him he made me feel relax having him beside me (he really knows how to make me feel relaxed) and I started to enjoy the whole experience. I really loved it!

After having fun at the zoo, we grabbed some ice cream. He said he wants to see me eat an ice cream from the cone. He wants to see me lick an ice cream from the cone. Seriously? LOL! Well he said he's craving for an ice cream. I think that makes more sense and sounds more valid.

Then we went to this bridge that connects two different states and then we went back home because he's starting to feel tired. When we reached his home, we went to his bed and cuddled more. I fell asleep for a few minutes and when I woke him up when he woke up and had sex. It felt so great.

After that he became hungry so we went out to eat at a Mongolian grill. It was a nice dinner. I had two plates of yumminess. It was my first and definitely will not be the last time that I will eat on that restaurant. The food was really good.

Then we went back to his home and tried to help him packing his stuff. While he's packing his stuff, he opened up a lot of interesting things about him and showed me some interesting stuff he has. Then we started to snuggle again and had sex again, this time it was a lot of work because we're both tired already, but it still went out great.

Its almost midnight and its time for me to go home. So after we had sex, I hugged him tight for a few minutes. He's already tired and he still needs to bring me home and go back to his place but I insisted for that few minutes. Just a few more minutes, at that time I wish I can stay longer. I was thinking about sleepover at his apartment but I kinda felt that its a little too much for him. He already spent his entire day with me and that's more than enough for me. So after a few minutes I took a quick shower and had him bring me back home.

He'll be leaving on Wednesday. When will I see him again? I don't know. One thing I know, I will always remember him as a good friend and will keep in touch with him. I know and I believe that this will not be the last time that I will see him.

Earlier today, I took the written exam at DMV for a learner's permit and finally after my third attempt I passed the exam already. Now I can start to learn how to drive. I am so eager right now to learn how to drive so that I can go to places I haven't been before. It opened up a new hope for me. A hope that one day I will be able to drive my own car as I start to take control of my own life. That's a different story. Let's just all wait and see what will happen next.

Thank you buddy.

Friends for keeps.

xoxo

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

I met him on Grindr - not the best place to meet guys - got his number and we started messaging. After a few days we decided to meet up. I was so scared yet excited to meet him in person. He has a roommate so he waited for his roommate to go out and eat dinner before he picked me up at the post office and took me to his apartment. His 'one bedroom' apartment is on the 3rd floor. He has a roommate and his apartment has only one bedroom so I figured out that his roommate is not just a 'roommate'. 

We had sex for the first time. No penetration yet, just oral sex. It was quick but its awesome. After we had sex we cuddled a bit and started to have a conversation. I really don't know what to say to him at that time. I really enjoyed the sex, but the conversation was unexpected. It was a short but really sweet conversation. And then he need to bring me home because his roommate will arrive anytime soon so he brought me back home.

We still continue chatting and messaging after that. I started asking him questions about his roommate. At first he told me that roommate is a 'friend' of his (B*llsh*t! I don't buy that. LOL!). They've know each other for almost a year now. His roommate is an Asian college student and he was there for summer vacation from school. I found out that his roommate will be leaving the week after we first met because his classes will start soon. I was ecstatic at that time knowing that his roommate will be leaving soon. It gave me hope that I may be able to see him again.

But there's still one more thing that bothers me - are they just really 'friends'? One time we chatted, I confronted him and told him I can feel that they're more than friends and he confirmed to me that he like his roommate more than a friend. I don't know why I felt sad and somehow started to lose my home on meeting him again. It's was just sex but why did it made me feel that way towards him?

I message him every time I have a free time. Finally my phone started to have sense and become a little useful. I only have a handful of contacts on my phone. My phone is being used more for data than messaging nor calling. He replies to my messages most of the time if he's not that busy too. Waiting for his reply excites me. Finally I've met someone who apparently knows how to hit the reply button.

As I get to know him more, I found out that he's a military guy and he will also be leaving soon because he'll be assigned on a different base. I felt really sad to hear that. I almost lose hope of seeing him again. But then again, he won't be leaving 'til after my birthday. We still have more than 5 weeks left. There's still hope.

I started reflecting with myself. Do I like him? Yes, I like him a lot. Why? I don't know. I just do. What now? I guess we'll be better off as friends. When I first met him I felt that I can be myself when I'm with him. And so our seed of friendship started to grow a sprout.

When his roommate left, we started to hangout more often and meet at least once or twice a week. I got a chance to know him better. He's a very sweet guy. He has a good sense of humor. He's a bit of a bully and likes teasing me a lot. He's caring and understanding. He is a good listener. His house not perfectly clean but most of his stuff are in order. Did I mention how great he is in bed? LOL!

I opened up to him, told him some of my dark past and deepest secrets. He also did the same to me and started to open up. I started to like him more as I get to know him more. I just let myself like him. I can feel that he's starting to like me too, but I know and I can feel that he doesn't like me the same way he likes his roommate. I don't want to ruin their relationship but he's definitely for keeps so I said to myself that we can definitely be good friends.

Right now I consider him as one of my best friends. He'll be leaving soon but this is definitely not a goodbye. I still hope that our paths will cross each other again. I'm going out with him tomorrow on a 'friendly' date. He'll be bringing me somewhere I don't know yet for my birthday. I'm excited. Its the first time (and I hope not the last time) that I'll be going out with him. 

People may come and go but just because they left doesn't mean that they'll be gone forever.

Thank you for everything my friend. xoxo