HOMESICK

This is the year wherein I left my homeland to live my 'American dream'. I've been here for about a year now but I'm still unsure whether it is really a 'dream' or a 'nightmare'. A lot people think that life is better here. One thing's for sure, I'm earning way more than what I used to earn back in the Philippines for doing the exact same job. This is one of the most common reasons on why people leave to work overseas and probably the same reason why I decided to move here. The first few months are bittersweet. I've seen a lot of new places I've haven't been before. I've experienced a lot of new things here that are worth remembering. I did not have a hard time looking for a job here. But as time goes by, I started to realized how lonely am I becoming here. Feeling lonely on a place wherein you are not alone is something I feel but I don't understand. I never had this feeling before. This feeling wherein there are a lot of people around you but none of them you can consider as a friend. Then there's this feeling of boredom for you can't just go to places where you want to go because one needs a car and one needs to learn how to drive here in order for one to go to places he wants to go. And guess what? I don't know how to drive. I wan't to learn but everyone is so busy that they don't have time to teach me and I can't afford to enroll on a driving school. There's a lot of places to go here but I don't have friends here wherein I can go out with. I feel like an outcast here. I'm here at a place where racism and prejudice prevails. People look at you as if you are a disease for you have a different color and despise you for not having an American accent. I don't feel like I belong here. I miss home. I wanna go home...